Thanks to Draymond Green and Steven Adams, the NBA-watching public has been thinking about a guy getting kicked in the groin for more than 36 hours. Maybe I’ve been living a sheltered life, but I’ve easily spent more time thinking about groin kicks during these past couple of days than I have spent thinking about groin kicks in my entire life up to this point.
And the crazy thing is, most people you hear talking about The Kick can’t even call it what they’d call it if they were speaking in private, thanks to certain standards of decorum that hold us accountable to certain regulations. So everyone’s had to get creative, just to be able to talk about the biggest news story in the league.
Which is where this list of TV-approved words for “the groin” comes from:
Groin
Below the belt
Down below
Midsection
Hibberts
Genitals
Men-itals
Man region
Underneath zone
Hogwarts
Private parts
Private area
Charles Dickens
Carl Pickens
Ding dong
Men’s section
Clearance rack
Gumby and Pokey
Ham sandwich
Undercarriage
Catalytic converter
Roundies
Kiwis
Surely there are more TV-acceptable words for the groin, but these ones are definitely OK. Probably. Be careful out there.
