Ever since I became a dad a year ago, I can’t stop thinking about dads. Unfortunately, your dad (Brian Cardinal) retired from the NBA in 2012, leaving us with a big-time dad void, one which needs to be filled immediately. So without further adieu, here are 16 NBA players who might be your dad, mostly based on name but also kind of based on general dadliness.
Cliff Alexander
Maybe your dad is from the 1980s and is always wearing funky sweaters, or maybe he spends a lot of time at local establishments hanging out with his friends, or maybe your dad plays bass in a band with his friends. I don’t know your dad, but I do know that if his name is “Cliff,” he’s probably a dad.
Alan Anderson
Is Alan Anderson your dad? Looking that stern, he might be. Or he might be your accountant, which just lends credence to the theory that he might be your dad, and that’s a pretty sweet deal since I bet he does your taxes for free.
Pat Connaughton
Yep, your dad would definitely have a goatee like that. And he would definitely cut his hair to be a bit more respectable. And he’d DEFINITELY tell you all about how good he used to be at baseball, the premier sport for dads in North America.
Robert Covington
To be honest, if this guy was really your dad, he’d go by “Bob” and your mom would probably call him “Bobby” when she was being tender. That’s one of the joys of having a name like Robert, that everyone can have their own pet names, so I guess he still might be your dad, even if he’s going by the stately “Robert.”
Randy Foye
It’s probably not a coincidence that “Randy” and “Daddy” are so similar sounding.
Manu Ginobili
Probably the most dad-looking fellow in the league right now, but I have to say, that’s a pretty cool dad you have there. I bet he goes to a lot of farmers markets and always brings home artisanal snacks for the family, plus he was always carrying you on his shoulders at amusement parks.
Gary Harris
Back in high school, 35 percent of my friends’ dads’ names were named “Gary.” Thirty. Five. Percent. That’s easily the highest percentage of dads’ names that I’ve heard of (Steve was second, with 22 percent), so I’m always predisposed to thinking Garys are dads, which is kind of why I think Gary Neal might be your dad too, especially considering “Neal” is an incredibly dad name too. Might have to rethink this.
Frank Kaminsky
Wow. Check out your dad over here, making you take his picture at all of the famous monuments in town. Total dad move.
And speaking of total dad moves, just watch him dance.
Wow, yeah. What a dad.
Carl Landry
A 2010 worldwide census revealed that 97 out of every 100 Carls born on Earth were dads. The other three grew up to be dads.
Jon Leuer
I would say one of the top 10 things that dads like the most is fishing in total silence, which is why Jon Leuer just might be your dad. Oh also, he looks like he’d throw down an L.L. Bean order on free shipping weekend. Frugality is a major dad quality.
Mitch McGary
When it comes to dad dancing, it’s all about enthusiasm and a total lack of moves, two things that Mitch McGary has in spades. But really, it’s all about that “Mitch,” which might be the most dad name in the league, outside of “Carl.” Plus you throw in the fact that his last name has “Gary” in it, and you’re like, wow he could totally be your dad.
Paul Millsap
Two things help Paul Millsap’s your dad case: 1) his name, obviously, which is quite the dad name; 2) if you asked someone to draw Paul Millsap from memory, they can’t do it. Having a non-descript, non-offensive, no-embarrassing look is key to being a dad, since you don’t want your kids to be ashamed of you. The main concern, however, is that “Paul” can also be an uncle name, meaning Millsap and All Horford might be the most young uncle frontcourt in the league.
Norman Powell
At first, I was thinking Dwight Powell might be your dad, because “Dwight” is an incredibly dad name. But then I remember the Raptors drafted a guy named “Norman” and there hasn’t been a successful Norm in the league since Norm Nixon was doing his thing back in the 1980s. You know why? Because all the other Norms out there are dads, which is why I’m thinking maybe this Norman is too.
Russ Smith
Russell Westbrook is too cool to be a dad, plus dads rarely wear the sort of garments he’s interested in. Russ Smith though? Total dad. Maybe not as dad as if his name were “Ross Smith,” but it’s just a vowel off, which is close enough.
Jeff Withey
Some say “Jeff” is more of a stepdad name, which is fair, but to me it is like the relationship between squares and rectangles — you don’t have to be a dad to be a stepdad, but all stepdads are dads. Yes, it’s a technicality, but that is the way math works. Dads know that.
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Personally, I think the combination of being a rarely talked about player on a rarely talked about team, his name and the fact that he’s 32 years old puts Carl Landry in the lead for being your dad, but that’s just me. And hey, I could have missed someone who you think is dad. Just let me know.
